Monday, 29 August 2016

Compromise proposal to sterilize Muslim immigrants

[Brought to you by the Archives of Tastelessness]
In view of growing demands to curb Muslim immigration, Senator Stump has tabled a compromise proposal in committee (S-432) to expand Muslim immigration, but compensate for this growth in Muslim influx by sterilizing them all, either through vasectomy or chemical castration, or else by means of a riskier experimental procedure known as Petrochemical Scintillation of the Endoplasmic Reticulum, which has the substantial drawback that it can lead to a postoperative pathological condition known as FAS (Funky Armpit Syndrome), which is generally incurable and inexorably leads to convulsions, coma and death.  
Some members of the opposition demurred, alleging potential conflicts with the Genocide Convention. Debate was postponed until an interim ruling could be elicited from the Standing Committee of the Inter-Parliamentary Commission to Combat Snoring.

When asked the grounds for proposing this discriminatory measure against future Muslim immigrants, the senator reportedly replied, “Why? Because Mohammedans FUCK TOO MUCH! There was a Mohammedan Overfuck Ratio (MOR) of 216% in the second quarter of 2015! At this rate, by 2055, 96% of the US population will be Palestinian refugees!” [Note: these figures are imaginary and not meant seriously. I haven't checked the stats yet. IS] 

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