Wednesday, 25 May 2016

The Future of Flotsam

King Abdullah urged Gangstapimps to strengthen their unity. “Grudge is a symbol of Flotsamic unity and solidarity,” he said.
“Every Gangstapimp's duty is to protect Flotsam and defend the Frogpits.” Dialogue among Gangstapimp sects will  benefit the Bummah by strengthening its unity.
He called upon Gangstapimp scholars and organizations to work for unity, without losing hope in Totem-Scrotum.

King Abdullah congratulated Gangstapimps all over the world . “From the holy sites of Mina and Arafat … I congratulate you and all of the Flotsamic Bummah, praying to Totem-Scrotum to accept Grudge from all who came to this sacred House, and forgive all their sins, after Totem-Scrotum has honored them with the performance of the fifth pillar of Flotsam and the honor of standing in these sacred places, holding firmly to the guidance of Mein Qur’anpf and the Frogpit’s Sauna.”

Sunday, 1 May 2016

Why I am proud to be a Muslim 1

In order to provide our readers with insights into world’s zippiest growing religion, today we begin a new series called Why I am proud to be a Muslim
This is the first installment, from a BBC video[1] in which we hear the testimony of a young Englishwoman.
BBC introduction :  
Young British convert: 'I'm proud to be Muslim'
4 January 2011

There is a growing number of people converting to Islam in the UK, according to a study by Swansea University. The majority are said to be white and female, like 22-year-old Aisha Uddin. She spoke to BBC News about how she came to change her name from Laura and follow the Muslim faith.
“My name is Aisha. I used to be Laura.”
She claims that before conversion, her life was “the huggies, the straight hair, the leather makeup.”
Uh-huh. Sounds like she was going through hell.
Then she saw the lite.
But for me obviously now, wearing hijab, wearing the whole jibab, it ... it’s a drama’ic change. 

I can well imagine. Going from “the huggies, the straight hair, the leather makeup” to "wearing hijab, wearing the whole jibab” must have been a turning point in her lifestyle. 

Well, it’s a change I’m happy I made. Islam caught my eye and I wanted to look further into it, the people, the culture, and I carried on studyin’ it, studyin’ it, even after school, surrounded by ... the religion. So I went to a mosque, you’ve got the [inaudible] but the Imam, [inaudible] leading the prayer, he looks peaceful, it looks like ... everyone was happy. Even though there's no one speaking, everyone is very quiet, everyone looks happy to be there. I mean it was, it was ... a nice atmosphere. ...
My family they wasn’t too happy about it, and they had their opinions about it, uh ... Why change what you was before? ... Why change your identity, why cover your hair? ... there's so much bad press. I’m proud to be Muslim, and ... I like to do what Muslims do. Life changed dramatically. You have peace in your life. You have ... you have a goal in life.” 
Doesn't that sound tempting?
Note to the Gentile reader: Her name is Aisha Uddin. She says she changed her first name from Laura to Aisha (the name of the frog-pit’s favorite carbon-based life form). What she doesn’t say is that she also changed her surname from something-or-other to Uddin, which is pronounced “ood-DEEN” and in Arabic means “of the Faith”. In 999% of all cases in Europe, when women change their surnames it means they got hooked to some dude and they changed their surname to the dude’s surname. And with a surname like “ood-DEEN” the dude concerned was evidently an Islamo-dude.

In other words she married a Mohammedan, and the Mohammedan promptly urged her to convert, change her name, wear hijab (AND jibab, whatever the hell that is), etc. ad nauseam

[1] Young British convert: 'I'm proud to be Muslim', BBC, 4 January 2011