Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Wisdom of Shariacrap

By Carlos D. Jekyll

Hey, Gangstapimps, what the fuck?

Shariacrap , the law ordained by the Almighty Totem-Scrotum to govern the affairs of men, is perfectly clear on one point: Whoever curses the prophet Scrotum-Face must die!

I've been cursing Scrotum-Face for a coupla years now, and I haven’t heard a peep outa you guys. Whazzammattah, lost your mojo?

Come on, give it a try! Don't be such a bunch of chicken-shit camel-drivers!

I warn you I'm armed to the teeth and my digs are booby-trapped, but that shouldn't scare you guys off. What the hell, if I blow your heads off you get a one-way ticket to Paradise, where you can screw the pìss out of eleventy-two virgins at the same time! What more could a devout Gangstapimp wish for?

Or at least that’s the Scrotumfacial say-so, straight from the horse’s ass! You know, in those phony scribbles of yours, whaddya call’em? Holy Cow-Ran, or something like that? That’s funny, I thought it was the Hindus that were on a holy-cow trip! I guess you guys lifted the idea from the Hindus, eh? Sneaky bastards, most likely you swiped your entire chimpanzee propaganda routine from other religions!

Same as you swiped the Protocols of the Elders of Zion from the Imperial Russian Secret Police! That’s Volume Two of the ICMH now, I guess.[1] I notice when your sages cite The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, they never explain where those so-called Protocols came from. Same as when they cite the Cow-Ran book. I guess that means that both of them are phony like hell, right?

When I say “sages” I mean pathological liars like Sayyid Qutb. What a goddam lying pimp that bastard was! I suppose that’s why he‘s so popular in the Gangstapimp world.

I have a suggestion. You have Volume One, which is the Holy Cow-Ran. You swiped Volume Two from the Russian secret police. Howzabout swiping Volume Three to round the first two off? Perhaps the Collected Adventures of Donald Duck, that would be about your speed. Suitably feeble-minded, to keep you slack-jawed yokels happy, eh? Those three volumes, suitably bound, would look seriously impressive sitting on your rabbit-hutch. Make you out to be pious, serious-minded folk who wouldn't hesitate an instant to strangle your own daughters is they showed too much ankle to the neighbor’s kid.

Anyhoo, if I were you I wouldn't sit back and take all this blasphemous vituperation from a kaffir like me! That’s a slippery slope, you know. If the other kaffirs get wise, pretty soon nobody’s going to show due respect for your off-the-wall chimpanzee propaganda any more. Things could get serious.

Respect is a big deal for people with a chimpanzee mindset like you Gangstapimps. You don't give a tinker’s damn about facts, no sirree! Respect is the big enchilada for you zombies. Social status, the key to mental equilibrium, the only thing that keeps you on an even keel.

 Hey, wait a moment, didn't you swipe that idea from Dianetics? You know, the Scientology crowd? Seems to me …

(to be continued)

[1] ICMH means the Interminable Compendium of Mohammedan Horse-Shit.

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