Monday, 7 January 2013

-THE GANGSTOFF TEST


Gangstapimp Offensiveness [gangstoff] Test

INTRODUCTION

The purpose of this test is to determine the offensiveness, measured in Gangstoff Units, of various English-language expressions, when uttered at a volume of 52 dB and a distance of 12 cm above and to the left of the left ear of the Gangstapimp Subject. [See diagram on p 73].

Background white noise: G22.

[NOTICE: Use of right ear instead of left requires the Research Director’s prior written approval]

A few examples used as benchmarks:

PHRASE
GANGSTOFF UNITS
“The Sanctuary of Beefsteak Lovers”
002
“The Sanctuary of Pork-Chop Lovers”
096
"The Mecca of Pork-Chop Lovers”
485


“You hit the jackpot!”
004
“You lucky dog!”
383


“I find Muslims rather doctrinaire.”
064
“I find Muslims rather dogmatic.”
264


“Would you like to meet my friends from Rwanda?”
031
“Would you like to meet some pygmies?”
325


“Your possessions are piled up in complete disorder.”
108
“Your possessions are piled up higgledy-piggledy.”
498


“You bought it sight unseen.”
012
“You bought a pig in a poke.”
522

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