An event eagerly awaited by bibliophiles and assorted islamophile culture vultures has finally come to pass. The Totem-Scrotum Press recently announced the publication of the Holy Qur’ân meticulously translated into Pig Latin by the erudite scriptural specialist Susan Scrofa, who has previously translated The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, the diaries of Jack the Ripper and the entire pornographic oeuvre of Sayyid Qutb into Pig Latin and its associated dialect Oinker.
Here we regale the reader with Scrofa’s delicate rendition of the Fatiha:
niay hetay amenay foay odgay hetay raciousgay hetay ercifumay
raisepay ebay otay odgay ordlay foay hetay orldsway
hetay ostmay raciousgay hetay ostmay ercifulmay.
astermay foay hetay ayday foay udgmentjay
tiay siay ouyay eway orshipway ndaay ponuay ouyay eway allcay orfay elphay
uidegay suay otay hetay traightsay ath
hetay athpay foay hosetay ouyay avehay lessedbay otnay foay hosetay gainstaay homway heretay siay ngeraay ornay foay hosetay howay reaay isguidedmay